


It Hurts Until it Stops, We Will Love Until it’s Not

by LynsFantasy



Series: Lotor Ship Week 2018 (by Laina) [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (I mean he killed two people but oNLY TWO), (shhh season 6 doesn't exist), Alternate Backstory, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon parallel for seasons 4 and 5, Canonical Character Death, Established Relationship, General Matt (sort of?), Healthy Relationships, Lotor Ship Week 2018, M/M, Soft Lotor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 20:37:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15057338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynsFantasy/pseuds/LynsFantasy
Summary: What if Matt wasn't freed by the rebels? What if, instead, his ticket to freedom was Lotor and his generals? What if, rather than going home, Matt had decided to stay with them? And what if Matt and Lotor had fallen for each other?Now, with Zarkon has reawakened, the generals have betrayed Lotor and Matt, Lotor's plan to get Quintessence has failed, and Matt is severely -- perhaps fatally -- wounded. But Lotor's not giving up yet.Perhaps there's a way to come back from even the worst defeat.(For day 1 of Lotor Ship Week: Victory/Defeat)





	It Hurts Until it Stops, We Will Love Until it’s Not

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Lotor Ship Week 2018](http://harmonia-circle.tumblr.com/post/173678278656/starting-june-25th-and-ending-july-1st-we-invite)
> 
> Warning for canonical character death and for severe (but not graphically described) injury.
> 
> Absolutely no spoiler warning for season 6 applies. In fact, season 6 does not apply at all here, and Lotor's characterization is based on seasons 3-5.

A planned-for inevitability had turned into a crippling defeat, hope had crumbled into dust, trust had been replaced by betrayal, and love had been overwhelmed by worry. And Lotor was… very, very tired. In a matter of days, Zarkon had reawakened, Narti had betrayed the team to Haggar (at least, all evidence pointed to a purposeful betrayal), the plan to enter the Quintessence field had failed, and Lotor’s remaining generals had betrayed him, shooting him quite literally in the back.

Shooting him… and Matt.

Matt was interesting, to say the least. At one point many months ago, before Voltron had even reappeared, Lotor had sent Ezor on a stealth mission in a Galra cruiser that was purportedly carrying the Red Lion of Voltron. She was supposed to stay invisible and sneak in and out, just discovering whether the Lion was present or not, but one of the prisoners had managed to hack his cell door and had quietly followed Ezor out as she unknowingly unlocked the path to freedom for him. And when the small prisoner knocked on the glass of Ezor’s little ship right as she was about to leave, Ezor had let him come in. From then on, Matthew Holt had tagged along with Lotor’s little team.

At first, Lotor had been annoyed that Ezor had brought back a stowaway, but Matt had quickly proved himself to be a valuable addition to the team. His skill with technology was unparalleled by anyone Lotor could think of, and his quick wit and problem-solving skills made him useful as an advisor for strategizing. Annoyance had turned into grudging respect, which then turned into admiration and appreciation. And, before Lotor had realized what was happening, Lotor had developed romantic feelings for the quirky little alien – feelings which Matt reciprocated.

The girls had also been fond of Matt. Ezor had bonded with him quickly. Zethrid constantly teased and berated him, which was pretty much a declaration of love in her book. Narti let Matt cuddle with Kova, which was a sign of utmost trust from her. Acxa… well, Acxa wasn’t exactly affectionate, but she respected Matt, acknowledged him when he did well, and sought his advice, so it was clear that she liked him in her own way.

And now… Narti had betrayed them to Haggar, and Acxa had shot both Lotor and Matt, intending to hand them over to the Empire. And while her stunning shot had only knocked Lotor out for a varga or less, the blast was too strong for Matt’s weaker composition, and Matt still hadn’t awakened, even though it had been at least several vargas.

Vargas? Quintants? How long had it been? Lotor wasn’t sure. He kept piloting his ship through space, trying to avoid Galra patrols and beacons. He kept checking on Matt, looking for any sign of a positive change. Would Matt ever recover? Without medical help, it seemed unlikely. His heartbeat was weak, fluttery, and worryingly arrhythmic. His skin was pale and clammy except for the spot on the back of his neck where he had been shot, which, despite the fact that his suit had been protecting his skin from the blast, was hot and reddened. His breathing was shaky and shallow. He was so still that, from a glance, Lotor couldn’t tell whether he was even alive or not.

Lotor couldn’t remember any time before in his life when he had felt so defeated and devastated, save for when his father had first destroyed the colony he had worked so hard to establish and maintain using sustainable methods of gathering energy and then had exiled him to the edges of the empire. He had spent months mourning the loss of nearly a billion innocent lives on that planet, but he had also felt enraged and determined to find some way, somehow, to end the empire’s cruelty forever.

Now all of his plans had fallen apart, and all of the people he cared about either were dying or had betrayed him, and, in the case of the latter, one of those was now lying dead by Lotor’s own hand.

Where could Lotor go? What could he do? He… he wasn’t out of options, of course. He could run and hide. He could even, perhaps, find a way to heal Matt. But how could Lotor hope to take down the empire now, without power or connections or resources?

It was time to initiate his backup plan. It was time to contact Voltron. And Lotor dearly, _dearly_ hoped that they could save Matt.

~*~*~*~

When Matt opened his eyes, he was falling, but he was so drowsy and disoriented that his instincts didn’t even kick in for him to try to catch himself. He fell forward and would have face-planted if he hadn’t been caught by strong arms. He looked up, blinking, to see the familiar face of Shiro – albeit with a few minor changes, but Matt himself was sporting a facial scar now too, so he wasn’t about to judge. Before Matt could process what was happening, he felt familiar arms wrap around his waist as a small figure tackled him in a hug, and he looked down to see his sister Pidge. He wrapped his arms around them both, returning their hugs, but elation and confusion warred in Matt’s mind as he tried to figure out what was happening. Where was he? How did Shiro and Pidge get here?? What happened?

As he looked around the room, he spotted Lotor standing awkwardly off to the side, and some of his stress and confusion faded. He still had no idea how he got here or what was happening, but wherever he was, Lotor must have brought him here, so everything was probably fine, right? He still couldn’t remember what had happened most recently, but…

“Matt! Are you okay?” Pidge looked up at him with worry shining in her amber eyes.

Matt managed a weak smile. “Yeah, of course! Why wouldn’t I be? I’m so happy to see you again. I’m just… really confused. How are you _here_? Where am I? What…” He looked over at Lotor. “What happened?”

“We can talk about it while you get something to eat,” Shiro said. He adjusted so that his left arm was around Matt’s shoulders, shielding and guiding Matt. Pidge switched to holding Matt’s left hand as she prepared to walk beside him.

But Matt gently pried himself away from them both. “H-hang on a second,” he said. “I’m really happy to see you both, but…” He felt like his head was going to explode. Why couldn’t he remember anything useful to explain the situation?? He stumbled over toward Lotor, who strode forward to meet him halfway.

“Calm down,” Lotor said in a low, soothing tone. “I brought you here because you were injured, and I did not have the means to heal you. I’ve been talking with your friends about an alliance, and they’ve agreed to sit down and discuss terms with us both. Everything will be okay.”

“But…” Matt’s head was still aching from the strain of trying to remember. “The girls? Ezor? Acxa? Zethrid? N—"

“I’m sorry.” Lotor’s expression was grave. “Do you not remember? Narti betrayed us all to Haggar, and I had to… to seal the security breach the only way I knew how. And the others turned against me for it, shooting us both. I barely managed to get us both out of there. The girls intended on handing us over to the empire.”

Matt felt unsteady on his feet again, and he grasped Lotor’s shoulders, clinging tightly. “I-I…” He then leaned forward, pressing his face into Lotor’s chest and wrapping his arms around him, and he was relieved when he felt Lotor’s arms wrap around him as well. “I’m sorry, I—”

“This is _not_ your fault,” Lotor said with absolute certainty. “We can discuss this later. Your friends are right; you should eat.”

Matt nodded, allowing Lotor to escort him as they both followed Shiro, Pidge, and a bunch of people Matt didn’t recognize at all into a dining room. He wasn’t sure how to feel about all of this. He had his best friend and his sister back, and he still had his boyfriend with him, but… at what cost?

~*~*~*~

True betrayal wasn’t getting shot in the back. True betrayal was, apparently, when your new best friends captured your father before you could rescue him and handed him over to your worst enemy, as Matt found out.

Matt had seen his father once since joining Lotor. After Matt had finally opened up to Lotor about his past, Lotor had taken Matt to the base where Sam Holt was working, showing Matt that Sam was alive and well. Lotor, Matt, and Sam had sat down and talked about options for how to proceed – Sam was working on important research for Lotor regarding safe acquisition of Quintessence so that the Galra would not have to drain planets for it, but Lotor was willing to release Sam and send him back to earth if Sam and Matt wished it. After some negotiation, a deal was struck: Sam would continue his research for a few more months or until he made a breakthrough, whichever came first. After that, even if he wasn’t finished, he would return to earth and hopefully continue working there, transmitting any relevant findings to Lotor over a communication channel as needed. In the meantime, he would be treated well and given more comfortable accommodations than even the rest of the workers there, though Lotor already treated the scientists at the base quite well.

Because of this, Matt had no longer been concerned about his father, secure in the knowledge that his father would be safe and okay for the next couple of months and then would head home to update his mother and sister on what had happened. Even after Lotor’s plans fell apart and Matt and Lotor ended up taking refuge with Voltron, Matt wasn’t concerned for his father. Sure, the base had been under Lotor’s command, but it was still an imperial base on the outskirts of the empire, and nobody high up in Galra command was going to think to check up on it anytime soon. Matt and Lotor would simply get Sam out of there as soon as everything calmed down a little and it was reasonably safe to go get him. Yes, Pidge was anxious to get him as soon as possible when Matt told her that he knew exactly where their father was, but even she had agreed to wait a bit when Matt explained the whole situation.

So, really, everything _should_ have been fine. But then, a transmission came from Zarkon, showing Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid standing with him and holding Sam captive. As Zarkon issued his ultimatum – Sam for Lotor – Matt felt like he’d been plunged underwater and left to drown. He… he couldn’t… there was no way to win here. He couldn’t abandon his father, but he couldn’t betray his boyfriend, either.

The situation was… hopeless.

~*~*~*~

Against all odds, they had _won_. The fight had been long and hard, and it had pained Matt to fight against Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid and to leave Lotor to face Zarkon alone, but in the end, _they had won_. Sam Holt was safe, Lotor was safe, and, best of all, Zarkon was _dead_.

As Matt gave Lotor a victory kiss, he nearly cried with relief. Everyone was okay. Matt had thought that the situation was hopeless, but everything had turned out alright. Sure, they were all a little worse for the wear, but all the damage was fixable. _Everyone was okay_.

Lotor looked at Matt with concern as Matt wiped the corners of his eyes. “Are you alright, love?” he asked, bringing a hand up to caress Matt’s cheek.

Matt grinned up at him. “Better than alright, babe. I’m so proud of you.”

Lotor smiled, and, though there was a hint of something regretful in there, he looked relieved. “I’m proud of you too.”

~*~*~*~

Lotor thought that he would never feel more victorious than he did as he stood at the top of the steps at the Kral Zera, with the newly relit flame and Voltron behind him, dozens of Galra commanders bowing before him, and the voice of the Archivist saying, “ _Bow to your emperor._ ”

But he felt victorious in a different way as he led Matt into Central Command, into the room Lotor had picked out to be his and Matt’s new room now that they could stay there instead of on Lotor’s ship or the paladins’ Castle. He watched as Matt’s face lit up with joy, looking around the spacious and luxurious suite.

Matt explored the full space and returned to Lotor, eyes shining with excitement. “This is all ours?” he asked.

“All this and more,” Lotor reassured him. He smirked as he added, “Only the best for the courted partner of the new emperor, of course.”

Matt laughed, not missing a beat as he shot back, “And how long until I gain the title of Prince Consort, hmm?”

Lotor was caught off guard by the implications of that, and he blushed, cheeks tinted blue as he tried to think of an appropriate response. “I… ah…”

Laughing harder, Matt shook his head. “No worries. We’ve got all the time in the universe, right?” His smile was sweet, bright, and full of hope, and it set Lotor at ease.

“Of course, my love. All the time in the universe.”

Victory was sweet.

**Author's Note:**

> I know Mattor is technically a "crack" ship, since they never met in canon, but I still like it. Keep shipping what you want! It's all in good fun.
> 
> Yes, this "Lotor kidnaps/rescues him, so he stays with Lotor, and they fall in love" trope is shamelessly ripped off from Lancelot stories. I just really wanted a Mattor AU with this trope, and I think it works just as well or even better for them as for Lancelot.
> 
> And yes, the title is taken from Victorious by Panic! At the Disco.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this! Please, PLEASE comment and let me know what you think! And of course, if you liked it, please leave kudos! Thank you so much!


End file.
